I want my hair dryer back; it's cold out

So did I mention that although I managed to get myself safely through four airports, a bus and two trains to get home, my luggage didn't make it? I am hopeful that it will arrive by UPS sometime today, but if it doesn't, I think I am just officially screwed. Of course I will inform myself of my rights should it be the case that my luggage is lost in space forever, but I imagine those rights are not terribly generous, since I didn't spring for travel insurance (I could barely afford the ticket).

Of the 120 pounds of suitcase fodder that I meticulously collected and folded and packed and weighed and repacked and dragged all over, about 32 ounces of it is still with me (the stuff that was in my backpack/carry-on): my framed Certificate of Consecration, The Red Tent, which I finished on the plane (it rocked), my new Nalgene and three used-up crossword puzzles from the St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch (what an odd name--there must have been a merger at some point).

My mom wished me an uneventful trip when she saw me off: it wasn't exactly, but as in-flight disasters go, mine were tame, at least. On the first leg, as were we taxiing out to the runway, someone in Business Class started having a heart attack. So we stopped the plane and I got to experience the panicked "is there a doctor in the house?" announcement, at which the man next to me threw off his lapbelt and went bounding to the front of the plane. Ominously, he never returned. An hour later, we were in the air...

...only to touch down at Pea Soup O'Hare, where my next flight was also delayed an hour, during which I could hear the airline employees continuously updating the folks flying to Richmond on the status of their delayed flight:
11:27 am: "I repeat: Guests flying to Richmond on UA flight 1491: due to inclement weather conditions, the incoming vehicle was forced to land at a nearby airport and will be continuing to O'Hare as soon as possible. Once it arrives, boarding will proceed after the vehicle is cleaned and the flight crew has performed its safety check." No visible reaction from the gathered throng.
11:51 am: "Attention Richmond passagers: due to weather conditions in Rockford, our delayed plane has been unable to take off. We will keep you updated on the situation as more information is available." A few scattered curses, and terse, whispered conversations.
12:o4 pm: "Due to continued delays in Rockford, we have been assigned a new vehicle, which will be proceeding to our gate immediately, after which the safety check will be performed and then boarding will take place." A jet is seen taxiing to the gate. Noticeable relief of built-up tension. Jet arrives. We wait.
12:17 pm: "Um... attention please, guests traveling on to Richmond. We have just received word that your flight crew is the one stranded in the fog at Rockford. A replacement crew has been ordered. We thank you for your patience." Mob mentality is taking over. Newfound relief shatters. Whispered conversations get louder. Several guests visit the front counter where voices are raised and fists are pounded.
12:26 pm: "Attention please... (whispered) here, you tell them." "Um... attention guests traveling to Richmond, we regret to inform you that the replacement vehicle is experiencing engine failure. A certified technician will be dispatched immediately." At this point my plane finally boards and I exit gratefully out the adjacent gate. Nearby passengers stare vengefully at those boarding. I hope they made it to Richmond.

Anyway, we had our own fog difficulties and my plane was late too, causing me to full-out sprint through the Frankfurt airport, arriving panting and heaving at my gate just seconds after the final boarding call. They had mercy and let me board and collapse into my seat. And of course, in Berlin the END BAG plaque clattered onto the luggage carousel and about 20 of us hurried to the lost luggage counter. The lady assured me that my luggage would be delivered to me at home, but now I am having visions of last year's Christmas package, which never made it to my parents despite repeated assurance by German postal employees, and the rice cooker that I ordered and paid for ridiculously long ago and isn't ever going to arrive. What will I do if everything I own goes missing simultaneously? Yikes. I only have underwear rejects left--the kind that ride up or fall down or peek over the waistband of every pair of pants I own (of which all but TWO are in the fricking suitcases!).

My suitcases had just... better... come. That's all I have to say.

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day! I just got a valentine from a Wartburg friend that says : "Be Mine. Be Orange." Cute, very cute.