when work isn't

Work has been exhausting and fun this week -- overwhelmingly both. I've gotten to host and attend lots of parties and ceremonies, witness and participate in sometimes-tearful reunions, give some presentations that were pretty well received, and sit through many long meetings, none of which were all that boring. All in all, good week.

And all in all, I *really* need a weekend.

still

This is one of those days when I love my job like an overly fierce little kid with a treasured blankie. Mine! Not letting anyone take this baby away from me. It was a lovely day. I guess it's a matter of knowing myself better as I get older, and choosing jobs and projects at which I have a reasonable chance of success. Or maybe I'm just getting better at loving whatever and whoever comes my way. Either way, it was a good day, a good week. Tomorrow will be good too.

The only weird thing, the only little detail that sticks in my mind as being less than ideal, is the fact that no fewer than 5 people asked me today why I'm not married. I'm pretty sure they all meant it as some form of compliment, and two of them have been friends of mine for a long time, but still, after a certain amount of repetition, it smarts. What kind of answer suffices to a question like that? And how am I supposed to know, anyway?

I've been occasionally feeling like a third (fifth, seventh, 22nd) wheel lately. When did all of my friends pair off? I didn't used to feel so unusual just because I'm in charge of myself. I'm not lonely. I'm not unhappy. (In fact, I'm decidedly happy these days.) And I decided a long time ago that I'd much rather be happily single than unhappily double. But still.

Well, anyway, it's a great weekend. But one of these days I'm really going to need a day off.

starter

I received a bag of Amish friendship bread starter today! The timing is somewhat inconvenient, because I'm leaving for a hectic week-long roadtrip on Wednesday morning, but hey, you don't say no to friendship, whatever the form. So I will be tending and nurturing (and "mushing") this bag of sour fluid for the next 12 days.

In other news, I have now purged my room of much of the extraneous junk that I've been accumulating since I got back from Germany. Our "free pile" has seen a lot of activity this week. The filing cabinet has been picked clean, the closet filtered, the bookshelves thinned. I even decimated the small collection of cassettes (yes, cassettes) I've been hoarding under my bed for ages. It's remarkably freeing! I really like the idea of living small... having what I need, yes, but also reassessing and making sure I'm not holding on to stuff out of limp sentimentality or fear of scarcity or just generalized pack-ratty-ness. I kinda want to feel like I'm starting over when I get to Chicago. I like that feeling a lot.

There's so much... possibility waiting for me in Chicago. So many options, so many adventures, so many new friends. I guess I've got more than one "friendship starter"!

demographics

I like playing with numbers. Here's a little statistical analysis of the 16 people who live here at Summit House.

Gender identification: 8 male, 8 female
Student status: 3 graduate students, 4 traditional undergraduate students, 1 non-traditional undergraduate, 8 non-students
Undergraduate majors: English, Film (x2), International Studies, undecided
Graduate programs: Mechanical Engineering, Library Information Science, Information Technology
Master's degrees earned by residents: Engineering, Divinity, Library Science, Theater
Age range: 19-55
Ages represented: 19, 21 (x3), 22, 25 (x2), 27, 31, 32(x2), 35 (x2), 40 (x2), 55
Mean age: 30
Median age: 29.5
Mode: 21 (and soon 32)
Under-30's: 8
Over-30's: 8
English as first language: 16
Origin outside of US: 0
Ethnicity white/caucasian: 16
Dogs: 4
Cats: 3

status update, anyone?

I'm kind of Facebook-status-happy lately. It's gotten to the point where I even start to think about my feelings in short sentences that begin with my name and refer to me in the third person. So on that note, here's a collection of the potential Facebook statuses that I've run through this morning (a couple actually made it to the Facebook page):

Jessica got to sleep in this morning. She is very glad of that fact.
Jessica finally gets a weekend. Thank God.
Jessica doesn't know what to do with her weekend, now that she actually gets one.
Jessica is excited that it's finally decent biking weather.
Jessica has decided to bike to church this afternoon!
Jessica wonders how long it takes the average person to bike 10 miles.
Jessica badly needs to wash her hair.
Jessica is planning her future spice rack -- how exciting is that? She has even created a list of her top ten spices.
Jessica digs the spontaneous phone calls from friends.
Jessica has to write an email that she doesn't want to write.
Jessica bites the bullet.
Jessica feels relieved.
Jessica is still thankful for her surgically-improved vision.
Jessica's cat is adorable, especially when she curls up on white things and becomes semi-camouflaged.
Jessica is going to miss her cat when she moves.
Jessica contemplates commuting to work by bicycle. She wonders if 30 miles a day is too much to bike.
Jessica is glad that Facebook removed the permanent "is."

Should we make this a meme? I think it would be fun.

weather report

I'm pretty much the only one in my family without a green thumb. Dad came from credentialed gardening stock, and dutifully (and maybe also passionately) tended our enormous vegetable garden that kept the whole neighborhood in zucchini, tomatoes, broccoli, and snap peas. Mom and sis handled the flowers, tenderly coaxing them out of reticent bulbs, glorying in the first shoots.

I mowed the lawn.

But I inherited at least a few of those earthy genes-- the ones that make me stare in open-mouthed wonder at the world coming to life around me: those dull winter branches suddenly, intensely gettin' their chlorophyll on; cardinals clashing gloriously as they chase each other through fuschia-tipped branches; the swan song of the used-up tulips opening their little arms wide to welcome the second wave of spring.

Most of the lawns I pass are well-manicured, orderly, satisfying. But secretly I'm cheering on the wild ones with minds of their own, sending out curious fingers in every direction and yielding to the wind.

Easter came too early this year. This is resurrection weather!

trip rewards

By all accounts, this trip should have sucked.

First of all, I totally spaced out while I was packing. I forgot to bring any shoes other than the quilted white tennis shoes I was wearing. Since most of this trip involves meetings and work-related stuff, the quilted zip-ups do not cut it. I also forgot to pack a jacket, and the weather got seriously cold.

Picking up the rental car was a disaster. I made the reservation online, and when I showed up at the place (with my confirmation in hand), they refused to honor it and wanted to charge me $75 more than I'd agreed to pay. "We're a franchise, and the website is corporate," they 'reasoned.' But yet the website had allowed me to make the reservation. They refused to negotiate, and lost a customer. I had to go to two other places before I found a car in my price range (10 minutes before the place closed), but at least I stuck to my guns.

And then I realized that I forgot to pack one more thing -- audiobooks. And I was leaving in the evening, so the library wasn't open, and I was left to the mercy of the airwaves, which aren't compassionate. I used to be a juggernaut in the "find the NPR station" olympics, but I've gone soft since I discovered books on tape.

Then I got sick. My brain dissolved into a pool of mushiness, I checked into my hotel room early and spent 22 hours mostly asleep. I roused myself at some point to drive to Walgreen's and purchase some more Tylenol and a thermometer. While I was checking out, the cashier was all "We've got a code 4 up here" over the loudspeaker. I guessed I must look even worse than I felt. I imagined the response to a Code 4 -- a revolving blue light, ambulance, stretcher, buff EMTs carrying me away. As it turns out, the guy was just going on break, and I may have been hallucinating slightly. Disappointingly, though, my temp was hovering around 101. Not life-threatening in the least.

So yeah, the odds were stacked up, not so much in my favor. But the trip didn't suck. The work parts are going ok, and I did get to spend a long time watching "What not to Wear." So, you know, it all evens out in the end.

Fruehlingsgefuehle

It seems so cliche, but man, do I love spring.

I walk a lot in my neighborhood (or wherever I happen to be), and I have been delighting in the appearance of crocuses and daffodils and tulips and fields of anonymous yellow and purple. At our house, the plantlings are graduating from grow lights in the basement to cold frames outside to proud nubbly rows in the garden. Our perennials are poking their heads out and we can indulge in the season's first mint, and encourage the baby hostas.

For most of the year I'm all scroogey about gardens and declare that they are for growing food, flowers be damned. But damn, they are nice-looking in the spring.

Our porch has resumed its place as central hang-out location, usurping the kitchen's winter hegemony. This evening saw a hula hoop exhibition and some guitar jamming, along with the requisite cigarette smoking and generalized out-hanging. Aaahh, spring.

transition -- thoughts du jour

I've been thinking a lot about this upcoming transition... the one where I move all of my belongings and my center of gravity to a different city and state and (practically) world. I will no longer be a small-town Iowan, I will no longer be a co-oper, I will no longer be the treasurer, I will no longer be able to see on a regular basis the folks who have become good friends. I am trading in 15 wonderful, occasionally frustrating roommates for two (and then one) wonderful, hardly ever frustrating one(s).

In my life here, it's easy for me to make some of the choices that are important to me --
choosing to be a part of a community, for example, and buying and eating food that I've chosen really intentionally. It's easy for me to be a part of not one, but two church communities, and I have many, many social activities to which I am automatically invited.

My schedule is incredibly flexible. I can do laundry in the middle of the workday if I need to, I can start a half hour early or quit a half hour early without calling anyone to ask permission. I can decide on the spur of the moment to hold work at a coffeeshop today. My commute consists of the following: opening my eyes, stretching, and getting out of bed. Rent is ridiculously low, which allows me to save and give away large chunks of cash and not have to give up other stuff to do it. A healthy, organic vegan dinner is cooked for me 28 days a month, and I never have to eat it alone. I have an adorable one-eyed cat who follows me around and curls up in my lap when I give her the chance. I share my home and my life with many people who share at least some of my core values. I count a couple of these people among my true friends. In many ways, this is my ideal life.

I have chosen to leave it, for many good reasons. Sometimes those reasons are hard to remember.

Maybe it's a sign of a life well-lived in a particular location, that you leave something precious behind.

moving on

Finally, winter! Finally you retreat in disgrace. And good riddance.

I went for a lunchtime stroll with a friend in the park today and afterwards I was too warm. I can't remember the last time I was too warm. Easter has come and gone, the nation has paid its taxes and I am still sleeping under two quilts, a pseudo-down comforter and a one-eyed white cat. I am seriously ready to be too warm for a while.

Know what else? I'm ready to move to The City. I already have roommate(s) all picked out, and a friend in the neighborhood, and a couple of churches to choose from, and people to eat pancakes with on Saturday mornings. And a couple of other options in the works. So things are shaping up nicely.

I kinda feel like I'm in limbo for the next 3 (or so) months, though. Once I make a decision, it seems silly not to act on it right away. Who needs closure, really? Now that I know the details, a big part of me just wants to move on!

update

It is definitely time for me to post something substantive. Ok... something substantive. Hmm.

I'm just not coming up with much. My life is pretty decent nowadays -- I like my job, I like where I live, I'm involved in some community and church activities, I socialize a lot with my roommates and have a few good friends outside the house to boot; in short, life is pretty good. But that don't blog. Blogs need drama! And excitement! And longing! And intrigue!

Future plans are always good for a paragraph or two, I suppose. I'm moving to Chicago at the end of July, which will be exciting because I have all sorts of great friends there, some old, some newer. And as much as I like where I live now, it also has its downsides: one particular roommate who will continually drive me nuts till one of us dies or moves out, a huge workload associated with some leadership positions, a house that's messier even than my (admittedly generous) threshold-- that sort of thing. Plus I'll be a lot closer to work and that should take some of the stress off of my travel schedule.

It seems weird to be moving somewhere so... domestic. Not that Chicago's tame, but it certainly is on this continent.

Miscellaneous randomosity (or random miscellany):

• Note to weather: Would you just commit to being spring, already? I seriously need it.
• Last week, I took the plastic covering off my window and let fresh air in for the first time all winter. My cat didn't leave the windowsill for about two hours.
  
• Sometimes the "working part time and scraping by from paycheck to paycheck" lifestyle actually doesn't sound so bad. Especially when one has lovely housemates.
  
• I am planning a trip to Peru this summer and one to Indonesia next summer. Hopefully that will placate the wanderlust for a while.
• I gave the message at Wartburg Chapel on Monday, and my campus pastors (I still think of them as "my pastors," somehow, even though I graduated 10 years ago) asked me to come back and preach at baccalaureate, which is kind of exciting.
  
• I think I would really like doing campus ministry. I'll add that to my lengthy list of potential dream jobs.
• I'm getting sick. This always happens after I go visit my sister and her family. Something about Abby being in the hospital and Hailey being in preschool makes their home a veritable petri dish of things I'm not immune to. But of course it was worth it.
  
• This week there's been an interesting confluence of people in my universe resigning their jobs, getting psyched to resign, getting hired. I like transition. It's exciting (in addition to being somewhat sad). Perhaps I just like living vicariously through other people's transitions. :-)

Maybe one of those bullet points will turn into a full-fledged blog entry one of these days.