skillz

I guess it's not too much of a shocker that four years living abroad changed me. And that was a really poor interest-catcher. But oh well, I'm tired and I just watched three episodes of Gilmore Girls and although I identify almost completely with Lorelai Gilmore (Sr. (who I am convinced is an ENFP too)), I know for a fact that I will never be that amazingly witty, in person or in writing, so why even try?

Anyway, how I've changed since I moved to Germany four years ago:

• I always, always, always read the small print now, and ask questions if there is any clause or implication I don't completely understand. I wasn't content with the car salesman's assurance that yes, my tires were guaranteed by the manufacturer for three years; I had to actually see it in writing. They couldn't find a copy. Apparently no one else thinks it's important to see this stuff. Weird.
• On a related note, I find myself constantly seeking to understand all of the rules in any given situation. The world is new again, and I am not sure where the motivations come from. I persist in asking questions until I find out exactly what is expected of me. I have been ambushed with hidden expectations too many times lately; now I cover my butt as a first priority.
• Everything I consume or use feels like a valued commodity now. Every liter of water (Germans are extremely careful about this), every liter of gas (ditto). It baffles me that people seem to drive each other around here without being constantly mindful of exactly how much each trip to the grocery store costs, to the penny, and splitting it. I am very aware of how much of everything I consume.
• For some reason I am very focused on fiscal responsibility right now. I have had to spend a lot of money replacing items that didn't make the cut or were damaged in the move, or things that I will need in order to dress professionally, and it doesn't feel good to spend so much when very little is coming in. I can afford it, but I still would like to get my budget trimmed down and in working order ASAP.
• I am very careful of what I purchase. I often ask myself now "where was this made?" "How was it produced?" I am a little bit fanatic about recycling and it still makes me a little bit ill how much can't be recycled. I made about four cubic inches of trash a week in my former life. This is a bit of a shock.
• I have become a strong advocate for people in unhealthy job situations. I am now careful to put "just get out!" on the table as one option for people who might have been afraid to take that step otherwise. There is no reason for anyone to stay in a situation that is not life-giving. I feel very, very strongly about this. Quitting is not always a shameful thing. Sometimes it is the healthiest possible option.
• I've been freaking out far less often since I came back. Maybe two or three times... in an entire month. This is unprecedented!

Someone, I can't remember who (my mom maybe?), passed on some comments from her therapist: You know you are healthy again when you realize that you HAVE survival skills, but you don't have to USE them. Um. I'm not there yet, that's clear.