Sometimes, I've found, it takes me a while to see the obvious things when I'm alone. Friends are such good sounding boards! My master-of-the-obvious revelation of the week is this: I should figure out what I need, and then get it. Astounding, is it not?
OK:
- I need my computer back, and I need internet connection at home! Went to the landlord's office and made my voice heard. Apparently my computer is not broken, it's dead, and so I am getting a new one. After I panicked briefly (within the bounds of propriety, of course), I was assured that my old hard drive will be installed into the new computer. Is that like... a brain transplant? Except that the old brain and the new brain will somehow coexist - hopefully peacefully - in one head. Anyway, the transplant is apparently completed and we are awaiting just one magic signature that will release payment into the correct hands. The whole operation should result in my having my computer back by Thursday or Friday. Here's hopin'.
- I need to know when my term is up here. I am finding it prohibitively difficult to concentrate on the light at the end of the tunnel, because I really don't know how long the freaking tunnel is. I really need to know when this ends. Um.. I didn't ask yet. This takes nerve, people! They keep putting me off when I ask nicely and when you insist, you become the squeaky wheel and people suddenly start scrutinizing you, and all of your mistakes surface. I don't want that, but yet I need to know. So... let the squeaking commence.
- I need friends in this city. Currently accepting suggestions within these parameters: I must be able to work full-time office hours plus evenings and weekends at a moment's notice; I am trying not to spend too much money here so I can buy a car when I get back; it is a generally accepted fact that there are about four single 20- or 30-somethings in this city. Anyone?
4 comments:
You go, girl! Figuring out what you need and then working to get it is the secret of happiness. That, and hot chocolate.
My suggestions are:
1) Be the squeaky wheel. Find the nicest possible person who can provide you with the information and tell him/her that you are weighing your options for when you return home, and you need to have a better sense of that timing. This is true, and it will be unsurprising, given that you've just been home.
2) Have you tried coffeehouses for making friends? (Incidentally, I met my husband at one.) They are more low-key (and less expensive) than bars, and you can drop in whenever you have free time, be it after work or on the weekends. Try to find a place that has a local-hangout feel. Bring a project--knitting, or reading interesting books, or crossword puzzles, or Sudoku, or whatever. If you don't currently have a project, start something new, such as needlepoint or learning to crochet. Projects serve as great conversation starters. I've personally had luck with knitting. Be open to intergenerational friendships; if you're just looking for companionship, you may meet up with a really cool, zany, fiftysomething woman. Think of yourself as Holly Golightly, able to float around and chat with various people. Be safe, of course. Trust your instincts, and if someone creeps you out, then leave.
Also, can you frequently spend time in any neighboring towns with more young people?
Good luck with everything!
Arabella, I'm taking your coffeehouse advice.
Thanks, Abba! Best of luck to you, as well.
A few more things to add, Jessica:
1. Know that, in addition to your obviously wonderful friends, there is someone in New York who has never met you, yet prays for you, thinks well of you, and looks forward to reading your writing.
2. I have no idea what kind of commitment you've made, or what the consequences are of not honoring that commitment; that's something for you to think about. That said, I think quitting is often underrated.
Hi girls! This is what I like to see: networking. :-) Excellent work.
Arabella, thank you so much. For sound advice, and even more so for reminding me of my connections to people (some of whom, amazingly, I have never met in person). A few updates:
- I did become the squeaky wheel, and got a very prompt and helpful answer (and no scrutiny).
- As far as coffeehouses: small-city Germany has not yet discovered coffeehouse culture, but there *must* be a coffeehouse or two in one of the nearby-ish larger cities. They would be too far to drop in after work, but I could definitely make a Saturday trip of it. I wil try not to have unreasonably high expectations: Germans are not as apt to strike up conversations with knitting strangers as Americans are (that's perhaps even an understatement). However, in an urban setting, you just never know! (One drawback is that Germany has DEFINITELY never heard of a non-smoking coffeehouse, and I am allergic enough that it wreaks havoc on all of my mucus membranes.)
I could also start going out more often, even if it means seeing a movie by myself or *gasp* going to a restaurant by myself rather than staying in where it's comfortable but where I know for SURE that I won't accidentally have a conversation with someone. :-)
I am definitely extroverted enough to talk to just about anyone... in English. When German is the linguistic medium of choice, I am way shy, weirdly, possibly because of my stupid perfectionism that causes me to dwell on every tiny grammatical error and forget to relax and have fun.
- You're totally right, my friends *are* wonderful. I am so lucky. :-)
- I am a big fan of thinking about quitting. I do it every day! What's keeping me here, I realize, is a mixture of deeply-rooted stubbornness, stupid and probably misplaced honor (wanting to keep my word, etc), and the fact that the organization for which I work is, roughly interpreted, the same organization for which I want to continue to work, well... forever. So it's in my best interest to suck it up and survive till the end of my contract. Which is coming! Soon!
- I'm feeling much better. My cough is clearing up, I can breathe through my nose again, and I feel like I might be reemerging from "survival mode." This is a good thing!
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