A funny thing happened to me at the Big Church Assembly...

I am not a big storyteller. I get really excited about stories, and fill my brain with them for hours and days and weeks at a time, but when I try to make one come out of my mouth with all of the appropriate parts, like plot and denouement and (gasp!) character development, the sentences and actions and motifs get all tangled up in each other and collapse in a quivering heap at my feet and I have to sweep them up and look away with a sheepish grin until someone takes pity on me and changes the subject. I do OK in sermons, because that is more about "crafting" and "expounding" and "proclaiming" than it is straight storytelling. But if you look at my blog entries, there's hardly a decent story in the bunch. (Really just a lot of whining, as of late, sometimes with big words thrown in for awkward emphasis and to throw you plot-bloodhounds off the trail.)

My boss, however, tells a mean tale.

The one he told today is just aching to be published (minus all identifying characteristics, of course), and since he lacks a forum, I'll do the honors.

He was a Major Church Official before he retired, did some other stuff, and then came here. And as part of his MCO duties, he often had to stand behind a microphone and give a lot of other Lesser Church Officials the scoop. At one Very Important Assembly With Another Church Body, the MCO's of the other folks said some disparaging things about our female LCO's. This caused some Major Disruption among the ranks, and some Major Decisions were aborted. Boss had to give the news brief. And oh, did he.

"Friends," he began, "I regret to inform you that a cleavage has come between us..."

Boy, was his face red.