I suppose it won’t shock you to hear I’m an extrovert. :-) Since most of you have gone to school with me or even had the exquisite pleasure of Cohabitation With Jess, you’ve probably experienced a healthy dose of good old spontaneous exuberance, Jess-style. My life-processor is most definitively an external drive. I say things as they occur to me—or, more precisely, they occur to me as I say them—and a comment from me is almost always an invitation to come into my space and let your hair down a bit. I certainly need people to be in my space. It’s a lonely space when I’m the only one in it.
For some reason extroversion / introversion has been a major theme in my life lately, in varying circles. Elizabeth has been kind enough to serve as my Ambassador of Introvertedness this summer, and I reciprocate as Resident Expert on Effervescence. While dancing to a really great CD of Heather’s last night on the terrace, I looked around me and made the astonishing realization that almost all of my friends here are introverts. I don’t know why this should be so astounding, as the other halves of the majority of the enduring friendships in my life have been introverts, but despite all the emphasis on personality type and diversity and whatnot in my educational background, there really are times when I forget that not everyone is like me :-). Which leaves me dancing alone on the deck, and the others with bemused smiles on their faces. I did get Thorsten to show off his serious cha-cha skillz to Santana, and the rest of the folks performed perfunctorily for the camera at least.
How is it with blogging? Is the blogosphere an introvert-magnet? I mean, a blog has the doubled pleasure of being the perfect repository of introspective cogitations and allowing for things to be posted and responded to without rush. (Plus, you can lurk to your heart's content, only speaking when you feel you have something meaningful to add.) But on the other hand, what better way for an extrovert to hear herself speak and engage in multiple conversational threads? :-) So, out with it, friends: are you introverts or extroverts?
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
According to Merriam-Webster, you can spell it "extravert", too
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18 comments:
hey, just found your blog via naomi and thought i'd comment.... being the extrovert that i am ;)! i'm training for my first marathon, so i look forward to tracking progress in the coming months!
over and out!
Introvert. That's not surprising, is it? I know I was an extrovert in college; and I think that people still expect that out of me. Something has changed me, though, and I really do draw energy from alone time now. Blogging is quite extroverted, I think. Lurking is quite introverted. That explains why many people I know tend to lurk but never comment. :) Amy
Hi a.maria -- Welcome! I need all the running buddies I can get, even virtual ones. :-)
Amy.. I *am* surprised, because I am still one of those people who expects bubbly extroversion of you. I will rearrange my expectations appropriately! :-)
I too am a former extrovert turned introvert. I'm not exactly sure when it happened - but it's only getting stronger. I am, however, still an external processor - whether it be with a close friend, talking to myself or writing things down...I work best when things aren't just swirling around in my head. Blogging helps me with that.
I am pretty obviously an introvert. I would say a pretty extreme one at that. I show myself to very few people and I even struggle with the blog thing. I get shy, but this blogging has helped me in some ways, to put things out there a little and just see what happens. Every time I hit publish, I get a little nervous though.
As a mostly lurker, I tend to introversion--and have been introverted most of my life. But I too am changing, though for me it is to be more extroverted---partly due to need with my vocation I think. I also think that many of us often confuse introversion with shyness--I think they can be different. I really enjoy being around people, and even talking about almost any subject, except, well, myself. That's the shyness part of it. I'd rather not talk about myself, but other stuff is fair game. My introversion is what makes me really happy to not even leave my house some days, to not HAVE to talk to anyone, even a salesclerk.
And I think my extroversion is coming from an extreme desire to really connect with people deeply, which is taking a lot longer in this new place than I want it to, but yet I have boundaries that I don't want to violate because that prevents me from being a pastor for someone if I'm too much of a friend, because it's impossible (for me at least) to be both and be effective at both. And my other options for finding friends are so limited due to time constraints...and, gee, when you are out of school, how do you "pick up" friends? I am so grateful for my husband, because at least I have one person to be with on a regular basis--someone with whom the connection is so deep that it's nice to just be in one another's company.
I think that is also why I like lurking here at your site Jess. I am almost compulsive about checking your blog daily (or even more often) because when you write I feel like we're connecting (I think especially because we do know each other in real life too). And I do know that it's not really reciprocal, because you don't know what's going on with me. Maybe that's what compels me to comment once in a while!
I put the I in introvert.
Introvert - ever and always, always and ever. Every so often I can fake extroversion so perfectly that people are shocked to find out it's not real. But usually not. :-)
Jess--As your Ambassador of Introvertedness (and on behalf of all of the introverts lurking out here with me) I feel compelled to dispel the myth that introverts can not also be effervescent! And sure, we may dance perfunctorily in front of crowds and cameras--but you should see the way we dance when we are alone in the house rejoicing that we have an entire day of not having to talk with anyone!
Well, would you check that out: a veritable plethora of introverts. I need a t-shirt that says: "I heart introverts, and I'd be happy to tell you all about it!" :-)
Um, watch out now, I am feeling sappy. When I look at this comments page I am a bit overwhelmed by the amazing, thoughtful, wonderful people I have been privileged to know well (and am still getting to know!). You have meant so much to me and enriched my life in countless ways. I am so lucky--thank you for taking me into your hearts and your lives. I love you all. :-)
Seriously, so much of my life is represented by my friends on this page: college, seminary, now, and all those times in between. I think about each of you and how our friendships have grown and changed and been challenged by distance and differing directions and how we've managed never to lose contact, or to keep finding it again. And I look at the newness, too-- friends I didn't have the chance to know well enough the first time around, and now I'm getting a second chance. Or a first chance! Don't let me forget how blessed I am.
Amused... I very much like reading your "swirling" thoughts, and am glad that blogging can be a good venue for them. I hope we can be a good listening community for you as you embark on this scary and exciting and not-lonely new step.:-)
Carrie, I was so excited to see that you had started a blog. I always felt like we should have known each other better, and now we can. I am glad that you take the risk of clicking the "publish" button, and I hope you won't ever regret it!
Jodi, you were one of the first people who taught me what introversion was. I never thought of you as shy, but as someone who knew what she needed to do, and did it. (And you do talk about yourself when prodded enough... :-)Sadly I don't have any advice for you on picking up new friends, but keep hanging on to the old ones for sure. I do think of my blog as a conversation, even if the responses are only your voices in my head. :-)
(Is this getting too long? How long can a comment be? I don't want to get truncated!)
Charlie, it took me way too long to realize that. Probably because of your guitar--stick a guitar and a microphone in their hand, and anyone looks like an extrovert! So not true, though. I should have known by the great conversations. :-)
Joannie...is has been so neat to watch you dump the shyness and live it up as a proud introvert. You were the other person who first taught me what a gift introversion is. I have certainly benefited from your amazing listening skills on *many* an occasion. :-)
Greg, I admit, you had me fooled there at first. But now I know better. And I guess I will see for myself soon enough! :-)
EAM, thank you for dis-illusioning me. You are truly worthy of your rank. One of these days I will sneak home in the middle of the day and catch you dancing! Bwahahahaha!
I'm an introvert who most people believe to be an extrovert. Like most introverts, I enjoy hamming it up among people with whom I'm comfortable (at work, for example). But if we've just met or are part of a group, I'll probably sit back and listen for awhile.
I am in introvert. However! I would NOT have been satisfied with just one friend in Germany, even though you may think I would have been. Especially when he moved to Liverpool.
I'm like Abba, I think - pretty unreserved around people I know, but quiet around those that I don't. Shoot, it took me quite a long time to get comfortable with all our friends here, but it helped a lot that it wasn't "Hi! Insta-friend! Just add water!" I think I met them all one or two at a time, so it wasn't completely overwhelming. Also, alcohol helps ;)
ppb, you have some really cool skills! I appreciate that you take the time to share them here. Thanks for making the innie/outie distinction clearer (I always thought that referred to belly buttons, but whatever.:-)... and for the affirmation. I take it you don't want an "I (heart) Jess, who hearts introverts" T-shirt, though? ;-)
Abba, yeah, I wasn't sure about you either. From Meckhead's stories I certainly guessed the part about how you ham it up with your friends! Gosh, it's so interesting how I make assumptions about how my "electronic friends" are in real life. :-)
Heto, I don't think I *truly* believed that you would have been happy with one friend in Germany, especially when he wasn't in Germany anymore. (Mostly because I just can't fathom that.) :-) I am glad that circumstances dictated that you meet all of the Wittenberg clan in bits and pieces!
How did you lurk for so long on my blog with this extrovertedness?
I am an shy extrovert, if that makes sense. I need to socialize to energize, but only with people I know. I have several close friends, but it took me a long time to get them. Many of them are introverted and I am married to the ultimate introvert who would be perfectly happy if he never had to talk to anyone besides me again for the rest of forever.
A great post. This is something I am always interested in as my school has really focused on the personality traits of teachers and how it affects their relationships with students, parents, and co-workers.
Hi Soleil... I don't know how I lasted so long without commenting. :-) Somehow I just felt like now the time was right. Wow... I truly cannot even fathom being content only talking to one other person for the rest of forever.
Ooh.. maybe you could write a blog entry about how teachers' personalities affect their teaching style. I would find that fascinating!
Introvert, with extroverted tendencies...
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