I've decided just to accept the fact that I used to be able to write, and now I can't anymore. I hope my muse is just on hiatus. Or perhaps we're merely having one of those dry spells in our relationship and should sign up for ballroom dancing or buy season tickets to something, just to stir things up a bit. My muse and I need a date night. Or we could start dressing in each other's clothing! I've always enjoyed long flowy robes...
And so, in grand non-literary style, my brain in bullet form:
- New sport-watching hobby: Snooker World Championships, direct from Surrey. Snooker is like pool with more geometry and no stripes. This stuff is not exactly high-budget cinema, but the new World Champion does win something like 290,000 Euro. Not bad for a weekend's work! The two finalists are both British guys who look remarkably alike - apparently there is a high incidence of male pattern baldness among the snooker crowd.
- Two of my colleagues leave tomorrow on an early-morning flight home. This makes me the Topmost Dog around this place (I'm now in charge of programming, administration, development, hospitality, public relations, and four other staff people, three of whom have yet to arrive). And thus begins the busiest month in the history of this Center. I'm really, really glad I am leaving in 4 months because I hate to imagine what the next "promotion" would look like. This one is killing me.
- Some sad situations have converged lately to make me think an awful lot about relationships and marriage and trust and what it all means and what sort of chances I have. And ugh - with my 30th birthday just around the corner, this is really not exactly the time to start getting all philosophical.
- I'm lonely. I'm sick and tired of reading and watching TV and going for walks by myself and going to the gym by myself and eating breakfast, lunch and dinner by myself and asking myself for advice. I'm sick of myself. There just has to be more to life than this. I'm handling it a lot better than I was a few months ago, but it's omnipresent and it never. lets. go.
- I am taking an informal survey, and invite your participation. What percentage of your waking life do you spend doing things you don't want to be doing? I'm at about 80% right now, which is a highly unsatisfactory number. But it's only temporary. I can do anything for 4 months, and better things await. How about you? What's your percentage? Are you satisfied with it?
5 comments:
I guess I would have to say that my percentage of time spent doing things I don't want to be doing has decreased from at least 90% down to around 75%, where I think it's likely to remain for the foreseeable future.
But how much of my free (not at work) time do I spend wishing I had someone other than myself to be doing whatever it is with? At least 95%.
And I'm pretty sick of myself too. The entire paragraph beginning with "I'm lonely" could have been written by me, except for going to the gym, which I am not doing. But I do go for walks, bike rides, and do some workout videos, by myself, of course.
That's a question with no easy answer... it varies highly by the day. There are days - weekend days, mainly - when I blow off all responsibilities, and on those blessed days, the number is probably 10% or less. Other days it swings perilously close to 100%, although never quite gets there - I'd say 95%. Most days it probably lives around the 50% mark, and that includes me putting stuff off (which contributes to later 95% days). Am I happy with it? Enh. Sure, I guess. It is what it is.
Hi Jess, (I just always feel the need to address you, even though it's just a comment. And it's assumed that I'm reading you
daily anyway. But still.) :)
I'd have to say that I enjoy about 40-50% of what I do or have to do on a daily basis. I'm trying to find a way to enjoy the other parts, because most are things I have chosen. It doesn't make them any more pleasurable, though. Hmm.
Amy
I probably spend 20% of my day doing things I don't enjoy or want to do. The 10% I spend at the gym doesn't fall into either the "like" or "dislike" category. The fact that I really like my job and that I really like to sleep and eat probably accounts for the other 70%. My worst problem is that I have a hierarchy of things I like to do, and the favorite ones (reading, surfing the Web), tend to make me procrastinate on the things-I-like-to-do-but-not-as-much (freelancing).
Oh at least 50%, more when my hubby goes through one of his 'what mess' phases.
BTW I think you're a great writer, I wouldn't be reading otherwise.
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