So... what are the 12 steps?

Hi, my name is Jessica, and I'm a serial exercise monogamist.

I'm flabbergasted. How could it have taken me so long to figure this out? And I thought I knew me. Atrocious.

See, it's like this: I have always been sort of borderline semi-involved in sportlike activities. As a kid my parents signed me up for the obligatory rec league T-ball, then I moved on to softball, basketball, gymnastics, bowling (uh, does it count as a sport if you don't sweat?). I was incredibly unremarkable in all of them except bowling, where my team managed to kick some serious butt our first year. (It turned out to be a fluke, though, and our fame quickly dissipated.)

In high school I joined track for a year, partly because all of my friends were in it and I was bored stiff after school, and partly because I was desperately ashamed of having lettered only in such ultra-geeky disciplines as academics, math league and drama. Ah, the petty emotional annoyances of being a teenager.

As it turns out, despite my parents' good intentions, my adult self loathes team sports. And lest you think we are speaking of a mere preference here, I should fess up: I suck at sports, in a flamboyant and grandiose fashion. Coordination? Don't got it. Competitive drive? Don't look at me! Fancy footwork? *averts gaze*

But on the other hand, I have this energy, see. My motor idles on high. In me, happiness turns into this bubbly wellspring of must move around now! I gotta let all that out somehow, or I'd never learn to behave like a grown-up. And that's where the above confession comes in... I am realizing that have no stick-to-it-iveness when it comes to corralling the energy into societally acceptable outlets. It goes it spurts: I get all excited about the rollerblading, go every day, coax friends into purchasing the necessary equipment to accompany me... then I lose interest and move on to something else. Sure, I vacillate between a limited number of sportlike activities due to my extreme aversion to some of them, but still, it might be cool to be like, "Hi, I'm Jess, and I'm a _____."

Even in the short span of the past few months, I've gone from rollerblading to running back to rollerblading to health-club-attending (with a short spate of good old-fashioned thumb-twiddling in there for good measure). Sure, I still haul myself out for a long run every now and then, but mostly I'm on gym-autopilot right now.

I wonder if this tendency is pathological at this point. Not the sport thing - because who cares - but does it point to a deeper sort of inability to commit long-term to something? I think I do reasonably well with keeping up friendships, especially considering the circumstances... but my job and academic history don't really manifest a huge long-term reliability. Maybe I just need to get the wanderlust out of my system before I commence "real life"?