Today may just have been perfect. It was perfect in its normalness, in the confidence that it was and will be surrounded by other good, solid days. My workday ended with a meeting with the principal of the Protestant elementary school where some of our students will be doing a practicum in May. She was a dynamo, clearly devoted to her profession and the children of this school. As I pedaled away, I thought I really wouldn't mind sending my own kids there. This was a startling thought in two ways: a) maybe I really haven't lost all hope of ever procreating, however dire the circumstances may seem currently, and b) did I actually, for just a second there, consider actually staying here long enough to have to make those kinds of decisions? Whoa.
Maybe I am developmentally delayed in terms of culture shock, and am just now entering the honeymoon stage. Maybe I decided to purchase some rose-colored glasses at the sprign blowout sale at the optometrist. Or, possibly, I have passed the honeymoon stage, suffered through the lonely-and-critical-of-host-culture period and entered the stage of Being a Normal Person, But Doing it in Another Country. I sure as heck hope so.
Anyway, after the meeting with the principal, I caught up with Heather and Steffi on their way to meet with the belly dancing instructor to see if we can start lessons next week. We got the green light. Then I had to rush home to see if Lolle really did end up with the man of her dreams, after four long years of hemming and hawing... and of course they did end up together, mostly because otherwise there would have been mass mutiny in the land, and the folk would have murmured. Then it was off to choir with Steffi, Helge and Mariousch, where I am amazing myself by staying on pitch, hitting the high F's most of the time, and just plain enjoying myself. Who knew? A bunch of ladies went out for a drink afterwards, and the atmosphere was casual and nice and I felt a part of things. And now I am home, ready to hop into bed, writing on my blog, and fully enjoying my contentedness. It's a warm glowy feeling, and I revel in its embrace. Good night!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Satisfied
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10 comments:
...what you're writing in your blog sounds a little like a telenovela to me as well. I mean, apart from some burnt beans, you seem to enjoy your life!
Good morning! :) It strikes me -every time- that you are signing off for the day as I am signing on. Who is Lolle? Are you really taking belly dancing classes? So fun! I wanted to sign up here, but no brave friends would go with me. And, well...it just seems like the kind of thing that would be more fun with giggly friends! :) Amy
AFAIK, Lolle is the protagonist in the German telenovela Berlin, Berlin. I've never seen it, though. Did I miss something, Jess?
sigh.
I haven't given up on that assumption that SOME day I'll be happily married with kids... but I have begun to suspect that I am ridiculously optimistic not to have, if that makes sense!
Yes, Tom, if you haven't seen Berlin, Berlin, you are definitely missing out. It absolutely rocks.
Yes, Amy, I am going to start belly dancing lessons next week. The only problem is that in order to find a day when all three of us (giggly) girls were free, we had to pick a class that takes place in a village about 5 miles away, so that means a bike ride home in the dark afterwards. But we'll manage, especially if the class is fun. :-)
B, you TOTALLY are making sense. I go back and forth: should I be realistic and just continue living my life how I want to, even if it puts me in situations where I have really less than no chance of meeting the man of my dreams (i.e. towns where there are just no young adults at all), or do I retain just a little but of that romantic idealism that says YES someday it will happen, don't make any major long-term plans because Your Prince will come soon to sweep you off your feet... Ah, living in the ambiguity!
Jessica, belly dancing is totally fun! You will really like it. Make sure you buy a scarf with coins on it because it showcases your movements a lot better. I've been doing it since November and it takes a while to get the hang of it, but once you do, it's fun to see how glamorous you look while dancing. And it's great exercise from the start.
Also, I know how you feel about the procreating thing. Except I've all but given up!
The five mile bike ride in the dark actually sounds like fun. I used to do my best thinkning on a bike in the dark but, seeing as how I'm really lazy, since I don't need to ride my bike any more, I don't.
Watch out for cats though...
Jana, thank you for the encouragement. I will do my best not to give up when it gets difficult!
Jaime, welcome! Are you new or de-lurking? I love the dark, in general (except in Chicago, where it's a little more sinister). But I don't love potholes. Or cats. Well, I do love cats, but, you know, definitely not under my bike tires.
I enjoy biking SO much. I sometimes think I should have taken up horse riding (which I've only done like 2 times) because I feel so much at one with my bike. I just came back drunk from the pub, did a bit of two on a bike with my best friend which was hilarious, rather wobbly, dropped her off, then put on an exhilarating turn of speed over the bridge from Barnes to Hammersmith. It makes me feel free and confident and happy - I sing and whistle on my bike. I love it.
Hi Jessica,
Mostly de-lurking. I got here from Rachel's blog (we go waaaaayyy back) but it kinda took me a while to get over the whole, 'I'm a complete stranger she doesn't want my opinion' stigma. You have a great blog though and Rachel's right, you are a fantastic writer.
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