third time's a charm?

And so I embark on the journey of new meds, again. Clearly the last one (Effexor) wasn't working, since I was still experiencing fairly prolonged periods of despair and Big Kahunas of sadness, and the first one (Mirtazapine) dulled the intensity of the pain but left me pretty zombified (and flabby). So now we're trying out Lexapro. I have to say, what with the non-generic drugs and repeat doctor visits, I am experiencing the full brunt of my medical deductible and pharmacy co-pays in just a few short weeks. At least I have the money - I can't imagine trying to navigate the journey to wellness without that buffer.

Thank God for the internet, I must say. I have done extensive research on each of these drugs and can now hold a fairly scientifically-informed discussion of their relative merits, side effects and chemical makeups. As always, understanding a thing removes (most of) the fear for me. (The same is true for people, too - the more I understand them, the better I like 'em.)

It's too soon to say, I think, but I have high hopes for Lexapro. At least as high as they are going lately. At the very least I hope that the intensifying effect that Effexor had upon my nightly bruxism will now abate and allow me the exquisite pleasure of opening my mouth whenever I've a mind to.

I've never liked rollercoasters. It seems ironic and somehow unfair that one should have been erected inside my mind.