good riddance...

...to the bad rubbish that was 2006.

I can't think of any other calendar year so far that has been such a complete wash (even 2005 is now a distant second, poned by its one-year-younger brother). I tend to think of myself as someone who progresses, who learns and grows and keeps moving onward toward the lofty goals of maturity and self-actualization and... ya know... progress.

Not this year.

This year was all about treading water and losing ground and falling apart and no steps forward and three steps back. I made a series of decisions that turned out to be bad ones, and am exploring serious regret for essentially the first time ever. I'm not geographically in the same bad place anymore, but I haven't been able to leave it entirely behind.

I wish I could just hit the rewind button to a year ago - or better yet, two and a half years ago, and then just skip it all and project myself into 2007 without any of the associated memories. I strongly believe I would be better off. Somehow in the last couple of years I have unlearned how to be a good roommate, friend, sister, daughter, church worker, you name it.

So my New Year's resolution this time around is simple: change everything. Nothing like aiming high.