I can't write lately.
I guess it's not a big deal - I'm not a Writer. Technically I am an Administrator, and the only purpose my writing has to serve is getting the job done, running meetings, conveying information, and occasionally persuading someone to route a few major grants our way. Generally the only tones I need to convey are "competent" and "business pleasant".
So really, if I can't construct an evocative sentence, no biggie.
But I WANT! to be able to just sit down, open up blogger.com and fire off some stuff that resonates with me later, stuff that... you know... makes people like me. I can do that sometimes. Just not now.
The particular writing task that I'm agonizing over right now has to do with my mom's wedding, which is next weekend. (What do you buy for people who not only have everything.. but TWO of everything?) I finally decided on a gift - it's a kisii (soapstone) statue, carved by handworkers in Kenya, fair traded to Germany, and soon hand-carried through multiple flights to Minneapolis. The statue is one of those "circle of friends" depictions, smooth and inviting and really quite beautiful.
It struck a chord somehow, and I knew I could make this work as a wedding gift.
I know that what my mom wants from me is not a trinket at all, but just my blessing. A shot of sentimentality. And I want to give it to her, because she's my mom and I love her. And in theory I have nothing against this union - it makes both of them happy, he's certainly not an axe murderer or a drunk, and most of all it's none of my business when it all comes down. I should be able to produce some adequately sappy material, tie it poetically into the sense of community and solidity and lightness that this statue exudes, wrap it all up with some hallmarkian weddingy wishes and call it a day. So, um... why does the bile rise every time I sit down to do so?
*sigh* I guess I've got another issue to add to the list of things I need to work out with a therapist when I get home. But that's more of a long-term goal. For now I need to get this card written.
Can you please help me? I can't do this on my own. All prose donations accepted below.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Needing some help here...
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7 comments:
Jess ~
Let me offer the first prose donation as I procrastinate writing the funeral sermon I must write for Saturday and generally avoid everything else on my desk. I tried to think of something related to the statue and something that I wish my mom could have said to me when I got married, even if she wasn't horribly excited about the prospect of the wedding. So--here you go, for what it's worth.
Love never ends. St. Paul said that in Corinthians and while I’m convinced that he meant it in reference to God’s love for us, I pray that it is something we cling to as well. Life brings with it so many changes, some difficult and some easy. But even as those changes happen, love never ends. As this circle of people is ever changing, often growing bigger to encompass those people we didn’t expect, those who are joining hands with those whose hands we have held for years, love is the constant—the only glue that can hold us together.
This was a reading at our wedding. It summed up how I felt about my years of struggling alone... about reaching for more than mere survival...about finally finding the person with whom I could share my life, who would be a wonderful parent to my sons, who would nurture my spirit, and to whom I would be inspired to return the same. I didn't write it though. I have a few others that were good too if you would like them. But this was my favorite. My friend who read it also framed it for us as our gift.
Oh- I also love the gift you got for them. I have always admired and wanted one myself. Nice choice!
Zen
A MARRIAGE
By Michael Blumenthal
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms.
It is very heavy, but you must hold it up, or else it will fall down on you.
Your arms are tired, terribly tired, and, as the day goes on, it feels as if either your arms or the ceiling will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years without the house falling.
The sculpture is gorgeous. Great present idea.
I'd go for simplicity on this one. "I love you both and am so glad you are happy. God Bless your marriage." (assuming they're religious)
If you want something short you could always just quote a few lines that you feel are appropriate. I've done that before. Actually I just bought valentines for my husband and mom. Each one just has a quote on the front. One says, "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." (Antoine de Saint-Expuery)
And "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." (Hellen Keller) I like those a lot, and there are tons you can surf for online.
Here's another reading. My mom read this one. It came from a book of different religious ceremonies.
There is no other love in the world like yours.
There is no other life like the one you will share.
As two pebbles in a pool spread ripples forever outward,
your two lives will blend into one, and widen and grow
through all the days of your love.
But each of you will still be one.
You are two people, separate, original, and independent,
even in your togetherness.
Just as the flame of two candles can burn apart form
one another and yet blend their light to brighten the
same room.
You two will be as one, and still be two.
A wonderful adventure awaits you as you go forward
from today, to build a world as wide as your wishes
and as dear as your dreams.
It will be a world where even challenges can bring
you closer as you face them together...
A world where you can live the story of your love,
a story that's never before been told.
You've already shared so much from the time
when you first met.
And your marriage is the beginning of a deeper
sharing, a wider awareness, a greater happiness.
As you gaze outward in the same direction,
look inward at the feelings that are
closest to your heart.
There is no other love in the world like yours.
There is no other life like the one you will share.
And there's no other joy to compare with the kind you are
wished for today, tomorrow and always.
~Author Unknown
May I try? The only clue I could really glean from your post had to do with your feeling that your Mom and her fiance already have everything, nay, have TWO of everything, so here's my thought:
"Dear Mom and ____ (however you want to refer to him), I struggled somewhat with both this present and with how to tell you of my joy and happiness for you on your wedding. I struggled with a present because I felt like you already had every "thing" you could possily need or want, and what could I get you that would be new or different, something you don't already have? Then I realized that by your marriage you will now, in a way important to you, "have" each other, and for that I give to you this small token of my love. It represents to me a union of people, as your wedding represents to you and ____ your own union to each other. So I give to you my happiness at finding and joining with each other, on this day of your new union, and my wishes for continued joy and love with each other.
Wow, you guys are awesome. I have found gems in each of your contributions!
I will put something together and let you know how it turns out.
Mamalujo1.. who are you? Welcome! :-)
Jodi... I have been thinking of you lately as I think about this wedding - somewhat similar emotions there, only reversed - and I am so glad that you've shared some of the words that you would have wanted to hear from your mom. Thank you. I'll use some of them! :-)
hope it goes well. i'm sorry your feelings are so mixed.sentimentality on demand should be a cable show.
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