What a Way to Make a Livin'

How do you 9-to-5ers do it? Is there a special formula that I'm just not getting?

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily a morning person; but then again, the wee hours do have a certain brand of magic. No matter how crappy yesterday was, today has a flavor all its own, and there's a certain amount of energy inherent for me in the reality of new chances.

In light of this daily renewal, however, I kind of think I've arranged my life all wonky, energy-wise. I wake up inevitably with just enough time to read through my blogroll, take a shower, pack my lunch and hurtle off to work. My sleep-won optimism deflates at the sight of the unwanted remnants of yesterday's to-do list, the niggling, nose-thumbing items whose unsavory nature begged procrastination yesterday and who come back to punish me today. The demands in the inbox multiply in the night like so many guppies. I get through the day on fumes, slogging through piles of stuff, detail after insanely precise detail, forgetting the forest for the woodchips and the pine needles.

And then, when the computer freezes up for the last time, or when this ship runs completely out of steam, I give up and throw in the towel, knowing that I haven't tied up all of the loose ends because in this business it's all loose ends. And I go home and deflate onto the couch and the only thing I can do is curl up and bawl.

And that's my free time. The loneliness demon sneaks up on me a lot more efficiently when I'm tired.

If I am going to make sense of this, turn it into a life, I gotta change something, rearrange the parameters a bit, take charge where I can. I have put myself into a lot of unusual and stressful situations in my life, and I've watched myself claw my way out when necessary. I know that when something absolutely must be done, and no one else steps up to the plate, I do it, without bothering with non-useful questions like "but can I?"

So... it appears that sleep is my main renewable resource, and I will parry it to my advantage. Meet plan A, to be attempted tonight: going to bed insanely early and waking up at the butt-crack of dawn! How would it feel to have a large chunk of my free time happen before work? I guess we'll see!

Stay tuned. Ooh... I know, the suspense is killing you.