Warning: external processing ahead

One of those nebulous, non-quantifiable "improve your personality in four easy steps" goals that I've had for a while is to improve my stick-to-it-iveness (there must be a fancy word for that, no? "Tenacity" doesn't quite evoke the right feeling for me). One of the drawbacks of being somewhat spontaneous and very drawn to new and exciting things is that sometimes the old projects get left in the dust. In an effort to strike a balance, channel my inner Zenmaster and whatnot, I periodically make an effort to nurture "old" projects a bit.

I'm reaching a crossroads: autumn. In the outside world, this means that church life becomes a little more interesting, the academic year starts again, and the weather changes. For me personally, it means dealing with very new conditions at work as well as the fact that my circle of friends has changed dramatically (no more public self-pity around that topic, at least for now - I'm moving on to the "cope" stage).

At least one thing I can control: I get to choose my fall activities. This is an excellent chance to strike a balance between the exciting and the cohesive, giving a nod to ye olde personality maturation whilst spicing up my life with a bit of variety. I am also realizing that I seriously need to keep myself busy. In some backwards logic, the busier I am, the more energy and joy I have. But on the other hand, my job exhausts me. So I have to find a recurring event so compelling that it rips me out of my post-work stupor into the activities that will renew me.

But what? As dorky as it may sound, I am creating a list of things to do when I'm bored, as prophylaxis against the boredom turning into loneliness. I am going to scout out fitness centers and join one, dust off the old rollerblades and explore a few new paths, semi-permanently borrow the guitar from work and drudge up all the rusty chords and finger-picking patterns, and give away or throw away all this stuff that's cluttering up my space (that should take a good long while!). But that's not enough, because it all requires that I procure my own motivation and initiative, and sometimes I just can't.

So... structured group activities. Learning a language is always a good bet for me. And conveniently, the second semester of Japanese (which was so unceremoniously ripped from my grasp last spring due to poor registration) is being offered again this fall! Incredibly inconveniently, it's offered at exactly the same time as my church choir. I would really really really like to do both. Both activities have proven their ability to motivate me into actually showing up, despite work exhaustion, and each one touches a different chord in me: choir is overcoming a big moldy obstacle (that voice that used to insist I was more of a hindrance than an asset to any choir); Japanese is broadening my horizons, stimulating the language hemisphere of my brain in a way that German no longer does. Both of them offer at least social possibilities, which should be helped by my being a repeat customer in either situation (there's a good chance people will actually talk to me this time!).

So how do I choose between the two activities that were the most pleasant last year? How do I know in advance (i.e. before I spend the money) exactly how many activities I will need in order to make me feel like I have a life outside of work, but leave me with enough free time to not go insane? There are still so many wild cards... will there be any new friends to replace the ones who participated in the recent (and still ongoing) mass exodus from my life? How immensely time-consuming will the new job responsibilities be? Will I even have free evenings to fill up? More questions than answers right now.