why

Weirdly and somehow inexplicably, I'm feeling lonely tonight. I'm not used to that feeling of being hijacked by unreasonable emotions - not anymore, anyway. Not since I moved into this delightful madhouse of comings and goings, and got swept up in the tide of dinners and meetings and chance conversations and people opening themselves up to me little by little. And all of those things have been happening tonight--I'm surrounded by great people, and two more just moved in today. I am optimistic about the state of the community during the next couple of months. There will be some good-byes to good people, but there will also be new beginnings - good ones, I anticipate.

People stop by my room, they ask questions, they offer up interesting tidbits, they seem not to mind having me around. Some even seem to seek me out. So how can I manage to feel alone in the midst of this wonderful seething mass of humans who know me by name?

Why can I only see what I've lost?