on the one hand

I got an email today from someone who's always been kind of a hero of mine. He and his wife started this organization in Denver, an organization that reaches out on the one hand to people at their most vulnerable, and on the other hand to folks just starting to connect to their strength. It matches them up, and changes the world. This organization changed my world, anyway; gave me a few important poles around which to construct my adult life, poles like community and faith and justice and volunteerism and simplicity and philanthropy. In so many ways, I can trace my roots back to this place. And now, according to this role model of mine, they are looking for an executive director, and I might be the just kind of person they are looking for.

I have said this out loud before, to more than one person: this would be one of my dream jobs.

So, the possibility of a dream job, in a city I already know that I love, and where I have a handful of friendships I could pick up and many more potential kindred spirits. A job that would challenge me but which I am suddenly confident I could do, and do well. That's on the one hand.

On the other hand, there's my real life. Not anybody's dream, but my very own flawed and dented reality, where I have worked pretty hard to carve out a niche for myself at work, at home, at church, in the community. I have plans in this real life of mine, stuff I'm really looking forward to: upcoming roommates, a much nicer commute, challenges that are just the right size, a new organ at church, a promotion at my job, improvement in work circumstances. And most important of all, I have real friends here, the kind you don't take for granted.

I wish there were a way to match up these "hands" and change the world. But I think in this case it's an either/or, not a both/and. And I kind of think that this time, the flawed and dented reality is going to trump the infinite possibilities of the unknown.

Am I growing up?